through the rainbow

i was what you wanted from me:
to be you,

your perfect self summoning
smiles from the cruel yellow
crayon of your imagining.

or i am me:
a yelp, a cry for help,
the anguish of having too much heart,
that my heart is sorry for itself
can't beat to imagining.

my lips the colour of murmurs in the dark,
yours are the same as this text.

i am trying to sever the umbilical,
but every time i piss i feel your mouth
clamping onto the nappy,

i think that you want to save me
in patches, that my yellow stains
are the same nicotine bend

that hug your sorrows at night.
it;s a tiny arc in a teensy window
where you go fishing,

through the rainbow.