shy to

oh there we go 

i remember how to write: 

its crack on the love tit, 

20 years left to when my twin boys 

manifest shadows 

and throw them 

up against me like it was my fault their mom 

was on the cow riding dairy out of town.

fuck ice-cream, fuck 

most things. 

its lighting the shiva doll 

 i spun from bean shoots 

or the ants call to 

their ant mounds 

and you: two

thrown bricks arced into the frail pit 

of my skull, 

with the gentlest of magnifying glasses 

chinking on the rocks 

where my blood 

dwells. 

_

its soft again, 

the jazz, brazen as 

ruby hubcaps 

i was the bill she sent to you, 

forgiveness working 

me like steam

windy in here- 

i was the  window and 

she was the finger 

drawing hearts 

that always 

shy to light.